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Are you pressured to marry?

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Fidelia

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One of the challenges I face with my family now is that they are pressuring to marry. Do you know I can't travel for Christmas and New year celebrations because they would start the marriage motivational talk.

I am just 24 and the fear is that I wouldn't find a man late into my twenties. I am not in a hurry to marry.

Are you also pressured to marry? How do you handle such pressure?
 
Augusta said:
No body should be allowed to be pressured by anyone into marriage. marriage is a serious business and one should be totally prepared for it before venturing into it.
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They would be asking you, 'when would you marry'? I have developed absorbers to all these things. Marriage is not a priority to me now. I am working on developing myself.
 
Fidelia said:
I am just 24 and the fear is that I wouldn't find a man late into my twenties. I am not in a hurry to marry.
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You are too young: why such a hurry? You could be eager to study, travel and engage in cultural/arts experiences. Families are so annoying, sometimes. In addition, I cannot understand such a pressure to marry towards a female family member, as since for as long as the Earth has existed, it's men that propose to women and not the other way round (well, exceptions exist too, especially since the sixties, but personally I don't think these modern proposals are always a big deal). So I think it's a total nonsense to pressure a female family member to marry, at least, since she is not eager to propose to a man in such a modern way (well, I'm also against such a pressure to a male family member). You are right to avoid this travel to meet your relatives. Very much better a cultural trip...
 
I got married at 23 and I am in that marriage for 23 years now. There is no right age to get married. One has to ve mature and well settled to get married. You have to be mentally prepared and you should get the right person to get married. I got married young and ir has worked for me. It need not be the same for others.
 
I got married at 32, as in the Western world standard. During our twenties, we usually are involved with universities, masters, postgrads and we know if we marry soon, if our families aren't rich, we often get compelled to stop our education cause marriage responsibilities (or to study slowly).
 
Fidelia said:
One of the challenges I face with my family now is that they are pressuring to marry. Do you know I can't travel for Christmas and New year celebrations because they would start the marriage motivational talk.

I am just 24 and the fear is that I wouldn't find a man late into my twenties. I am not in a hurry to marry.

Are you also pressured to marry? How do you handle such pressure?
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I too was forced to marry. I did have to marry, made some adjustments with my husband and did protest when I was wronged by him or his family. Life went on like that for 34years. I too was 24 when I got married.
 
I got married at 23 and now I am happily married for 23 years. I never felt that I married young as many of my friends felt and said. I had both my children before I was 30. Yes, I took an early break in my career but never regret it. I could later get back to work after my kids were grown. Now I have a balanced life and bever feel that I missed on anything by marrying early. I was mentally ready and happy to marry someone who was a very good friend.
 
arunima25 said:
I got married at 23 and now I am happily married for 23 years. I never felt that I married young as many of my friends felt and said. I had both my children before I was 30. Yes, I took an early break in my career but never regret it. I could later get back to work after my kids were grown. Now I have a balanced life and bever feel that I missed on anything by marrying early. I was mentally ready and happy to marry someone who was a very good friend.
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you got really lucky these days it is hard to find that one it is easy to get bored and all these things in my opinion before choosing a partner you need to be with them for at least 3 years
 
arunima25 said:
I got married at 23 and now I am happily married for 23 years. I never felt that I married young as many of my friends felt and said. I had both my children before I was 30. Yes, I took an early break in my career but never regret it. I could later get back to work after my kids were grown. Now I have a balanced life and bever feel that I missed on anything by marrying early. I was mentally ready and happy to marry someone who was a very good friend.
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Nice you have a good friend as your partner.
 
AruneBend said:
you got really lucky these days it is hard to find that one it is easy to get bored and all these things in my opinion before choosing a partner you need to be with them for at least 3 years
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I knew my husband for seven years as a friend but we were never romantically involved till our family got us engaged. I have been lucky to get a very good friend as life partner. It's would be 23 years this year of our marriage.
aninditasen said:
Nice you have a good friend as your partner.
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Yes, we were friends for seven years buy we were not romantically involved tull our official engagement. It was actually an arranged marriage.
 
I always thought arranged marriages were a bad idea until I worked with an Indian girl who was very happy in hers. Her parents picked her husband and 20 years on with two lovely children they are still going strong. She did say that if she had not liked the man they chose for her they would not have made her get married to him.
 
FoxyLady73 said:
I always thought arranged marriages were a bad idea until I worked with an Indian girl who was very happy in hers. Her parents picked her husband and 20 years on with two lovely children they are still going strong. She did say that if she had not liked the man they chose for her they would not have made her get married to him.
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Actually it comes as a surprise for many in other cultures. But since we are brought up in this culture and have seen arranged marriages working for generations, we don't doubt it. I have happily married couples in my family in all generations. We are not forced into marriages. The alliance is made by families, but then the boys and girls have their say. They are given time to know each other. Arranged marriages hafe a few positives too. The compatibility in all forms, social, economical, cultural etc is taken into account before setting up an alliance.
 
deucher said:
I was never pressured because everyone knows that I will not get married until I have achieved my goals. However, my parents put pressure on my wife because she is older than me and is still not married.
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That's a bit confusing and I am trying to make sense out of your statement here. How can you have a wife, older or younger when you are not married'? Your parents putting pressure on your wife to get married is hilarious.
 
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