At what point would you recommend divorce for a married couple?

[arunima25]

Communication gap is not taken as an issue in India, especially when the couple have children. The mother gives all her attention to her children and communicates very less with her husband. The husband doesn't grudge this because he knows his wife is caring for his children who will look after them when they are old.

This might be the case in earlier days. And may still be there in rural areas or joint family set up. We had enough people in a joint family to talk and share. But in urban and nuclear set up, it's not working. I recently read a news piece where divorce was asked as couples couldn't spend time together and found communication gap.

 

[klassicdoll]

While never simple, divorce is occasionally the best course of action. It could be time to think about divorcing if your needs are not being met, you constantly feel miserable, or your partner is engaging in violent behaviors like infidelity or domestic abuse.

 

[King Belieal]

I was in a relationship and it turned out that I started resentment for the lady because of her character and decisions. So much resentment that I used to get angry at her presence. Does it mean I have to continue the relationship if it was a marriage situation?
I always say that divorce is okay if the partners don't feel comfortable with themselves again.

 

[aninditasen]

This might be the case in earlier days. And may still be there in rural areas or joint family set up. We had enough people in a joint family to talk and share. But in urban and nuclear set up, it's not working. I recently read a news piece where divorce was asked as couples couldn't spend time together and found communication gap.

In cities divorce has become prevalent on the plea of quality time. I really don't understand when both partners are working and have a busy life, spending time together becomes difficult. I have experienced this myself. Spending time together has to be planned. This the couples should understand.

Post automatically merged: Oct 16, 2023

Divorce is the answer to stop the issues of the gap in communication because each other's feelings disappear like smoke. There is no reason to continue living under one roof if there is always a war between the wife and the husband causing trouble for the children.

That's true. If children suffer because of the parents fights then divorce is essential.

 

[linux.poet]

When one of the partners is engaging in repeated infidelities.

In abuse cases, the partners should separate, and the abuser should be highly regulated as to their behavior in order to get access to their children. The abuser must agree to a strict conduct agreement, and if they violate it one time, we're leaving back to the safe house. It must be strictly enforced, and not give the abuser what they want. In time they will learn that they will not gain anything for their abusive behavior, which may encourage them to change their behavior.

Letting them out of the marriage doesn't work. The abuser will just find someone else to abuse. Also, the victim should not be running off into a new relationship without healing from their trauma and learning from their experience. So they need to do the "separate and regulate" approach, and get supporters to back them up on it. Preferably supporters who have weapons and aren't afraid to use them, but you get what I mean.

 

[aninditasen]

When one of the partners is engaging in repeated infidelities.

In abuse cases, the partners should separate, and the abuser should be highly regulated as to their behavior in order to get access to their children. The abuser must agree to a strict conduct agreement, and if they violate it one time, we're leaving back to the safe house. It must be strictly enforced, and not give the abuser what they want. In time they will learn that they will not gain anything for their abusive behavior, which may encourage them to change their behavior.

Letting them out of the marriage doesn't work. The abuser will just find someone else to abuse. Also, the victim should not be running off into a new relationship without healing from their trauma and learning from their experience. So they need to do the "separate and regulate" approach, and get supporters to back them up on it. Preferably supporters who have weapons and aren't afraid to use them, but you get what I mean.

Regulating a marriage is very difficult for any court. We are adults and the
court can't enforce such a law.

 

[eLdavis]

That is true and to heal the misery is love itself. Find another love and make sure that marriage will not go astray or won't go wrong. Life is also what we make it.

This is why when it comes to matters of marriages and all that one should never rush into it. Some people tend to rush into certain relationships and marriages cause they feel they are getting old or due to peer pressure.

 

[AruneBend]

my mom is still married to the man who is not in her life nad divorce is a long process but I think it is not hard to decide unless you already have kids it is very important to choose the right person and not rush

 

[Starmix]

This is why when it comes to matters of marriages and all that one should never rush into it. Some people tend to rush into certain relationships and marriages cause they feel they are getting old or due to peer pressure.

We need to wait for the right time for the right love . We might fall to the wrong time and wrong person. It is better to plan as well as to who to settle down with. Marrying is not a contest though.

 

[eLdavis]

We need to wait for the right time for the right love . We might fall to the wrong time and wrong person. It is better to plan as well as to who to settle down with. Marrying is not a contest though.

Yea but its a pity that many people don't see things like this, especially here in Africa. Most of our young ones today tend to view marriage as some sort of competition. By the time they see that their school mates are already married they get so worried and anxious.

 

[Augusta]

The rate of divorce now is really high and sometimes I wonder how others before us were able to stay put for uncountable years. We just have to work on our selves

 

[aninditasen]

This is why when it comes to matters of marriages and all that one should never rush into it. Some people tend to rush into certain relationships and marriages cause they feel they are getting old or due to peer pressure.

That's very common in India. Marriages are conducted at times in a hurry fearing their son or daughter is getting old which sometimes ends up in disaster. Result is divorce.

 

[Ladyhawk]

Divorce is not legalized here in my country. From my own point of view, marriage is sacred, but when it comes to the point where couples hit each other physically, emotionally, and mentally, that is another thing. Divorce is the answer. Why settle for a situation where both parties suffer? Children may have to be affected, but in the long run, they will understand the situation. Both just have to agree on what's best for their children's needs.

 

[Starmix]

Yea but its a pity that many people don't see things like this, especially here in Africa. Most of our young ones today tend to view marriage as some sort of competition. By the time they see that their school mates are already married they get so worried and anxious.

They are treating marriage as a contest. They did not analyze that marriage is like a prison cell. You cannot escape reality once you are already there and only feel regret when marriage is a failure.

 

[aninditasen]

Divorce is not legalized here in my country. From my own point of view, marriage is sacred, but when it comes to the point where couples hit each other physically, emotionally, and mentally, that is another thing. Divorce is the answer. Why settle for a situation where both parties suffer? Children may have to be affected, but in the long run, they will understand the situation. Both just have to agree on what's best for their children's needs.

Divorced couples rarely think of the children before the separate in India. That's the reason children felt left out when their parents get divorced. They suffer from a mental set back. It's therefore better to plan children after a compatible relation develops within the partners.

 

[Kirubel]

Personally i don't think divorce is an option for unhappy mirage, discussion makes every thing good and it will change bad perspectives, so having a deep talk may solve problems, but in my vies divorce is the only option if a partner cheats, in that way there is no going back.

 

[arunima25]

In cities divorce has become prevalent on the plea of quality time. I really don't understand when both partners are working and have a busy life, spending time together becomes difficult. I have experienced this myself. Spending time together has to be planned. This the couples should understand.

Post automatically merged: Oct 16, 2023

That's true. If children suffer because of the parents fights then divorce is essential.

I agree there. Marriage can be demanding at times. In the fast paced life with busy schedule, people tend to ignore spending time together and it soon becomes a challenge to the relationship. One has to be very clear that it can not be taken for granted. One has to give space to each together and at the same time, put their conscious effort to give time to each other.

 

[aninditasen]

I agree there. Marriage can be demanding at times. In the fast paced life with busy schedule, people tend to ignore spending time together and it soon becomes a challenge to the relationship. One has to be very clear that it can not be taken for granted. One has to give space to each together and at the same time, put their conscious effort to give time to each other.

That's true. Both partners have to understand each others needs. When anyone becomes insensible marriage fails. On the other hand when a family is not just husband and wife and has children and parents there has to some adjustment and not think selfishly.

 

[arunima25]

That's true. Both partners have to understand each others needs. When anyone becomes insensible marriage fails. On the other hand when a family is not just husband and wife and has children and parents there has to some adjustment and not think selfishly.

I totally agree. Marriage involves more than just two individuals in the relationship. Two families are involved and one should put all the efforts to make it work. Children go through the worst trauma if it's a broken home. But at times, it's better for everyone to not carry it like a burden. Some relationships are beyond repair and can be really toxic. It's better for everyone including children if it is called off

 

[Suba]

I am not an expert in the field of marriage, in my country someone who is going to divorce will be given difficulty and given time until there is peace and harmony between husband and wife. But personally, in my opinion, divorce should still be carried out if one of the partners commits infidelity or has an affair/intimate relationship with another person.