Should you walk away from a marriage in which the partner is not financially intelligent?

[Fidelia]

A friend of mine just separated from her husband and the reason is that the husband is not financially intelligent. She said that she has been trying to teach the husband financial intelligence for the past 5 years and the husband can't grab.

She also said her financial life has gone down because she needs to put up with the exceses of that her husband.

Is it the right thing to walk away from a marriage because of a partner's inability to understand finances?

 

[pousinha]

It's very, very difficult to answer such a question. If lack of financial abilities is the only serious flaw in one of the partners, but he/she really loves the spouse, the solution should be to separate finances to not get broken. Despite the lack of financial abilities, a reasonable spouse should understand he/she couldn't be spendthrift, if the couple isn't rich or wealthy. In my couple, I see my husband hasn't my same financial abilities, is far from them, but I know it's not his fault because the culture of his country is very different from mine. People here don't learn how to save and invest. So I manage almost all the household finances. He also leaves a great percentage of his salary with me, as he knows how are my spending habits.

 

[King Belieal]

I can't be babysitting someone that would drag my financial life backwards. If a woman I want to marry can't manage herself financially, I would seperate from such marriage.

 

[Stardom22]

For me l wouldn't walk away. l would stay and find some ways for raising my income streams for that matter. l have come to realise that the running away of problems is never the solution.

 

[pousinha]

I can't be babysitting someone that would drag my financial life backwards. If a woman I want to marry can't manage herself financially, I would seperate from such marriage.

Dear friend, if a woman you want to marry has the nasty habit to lavish money, I'd even fly away before, not after marriage. Surely, I'd strongly prefer to not engage in such a marriage than separate after. If I consciously marry a lavishing person, then I recognise it was my fault and I'd try this and that solution before separating.

 

[magnus2022]

I can't be babysitting someone that would drag my financial life backwards. If a woman I want to marry can't manage herself financially, I would seperate from such marriage.

Do you think is easy to separate from marriage? Marriage comes with a lot of bonding and socialization. Financial illiteracy can not be a reason to divorce your spouse. Marriage is deeper than financial and other mundane things.

 

[pousinha]

Dear friends, I suppose a clear demarcation is in need. I suppose the terms financial illiteracy may have a different meaning for each of us and it strongly depends on each context. Or, better said, the consequence of financial illiteracy. Is the consequence a mere difficulty to calculate the expenses or a true propensity to lavish money? Does your spouse love to always spend into futile things despite your limited budget? In this latter case, does your spouse hear you when you say about the importance to not spend immediately the entire salary? Is he/she willing to change his/her spendthrift habits? Are his/her spendthrift habits so catastrophic they'll lead you to literally starve? Is he/she a degenerate gambler? In these latter cases (your spouse is very unwilling to get rid of his/her lavishing habits despite you aren't rich nor wealthy, you risk to starve cause his/her fault, no way to stop his/her gambling habits), yes, there are serious premises for a separation. Such a separation could be temporary (simply the so called pause for thought): maybe the guilty spouse reflects and considers he/she must change habits and the couple returns together, stronger than before.

 

[klassicdoll]

It is true that this question is hard to answer; however, in my opinion, marriage is sacred and marriage is a big thing for me. i don't want divorce, however It takes more than love to keep a marriage intact thus financial situations is important too. So if ever my husband lacks financial abilities, we will try to compromise, and since I know in myself that I am more financially responsible, I might as well take charge of managing our finances and be the one to build a budget. As for him, he can manage other staff that I can't, because though he lacks financial abilities, I am sure that he will excel in other areas of our life.

 

[eLdavis]

I believe when saying the wedding vows, for better for worse was included or at least something similar. This is why it is extremely important to know who you are marrying before going into marriage. It's not something you jump in and out when you feel like.

 

[pousinha]

It is true that this question is hard to answer; however, in my opinion, marriage is sacred and marriage is a big thing for me. i don't want divorce, however It takes more than love to keep a marriage intact thus financial situations is important too. So if ever my husband lacks financial abilities, we will try to compromise, and since I know in myself that I am more financially responsible, I might as well take charge of managing our finances and be the one to build a budget. As for him, he can manage other staff that I can't, because though he lacks financial abilities, I am sure that he will excel in other areas of our life.

Yes, this is exactly what my couple does. I manage the 95% of the household finances (both mine and his) and he does all the hard job at home. My husband completely trusts me in the field of finances, so he doesn't question my managing of his money.
Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing in the case in a couple one of the spouses is a degenerate gambler and completely refuses to change his/her attitude. The point is, when we marry a completely unknown person, we can bump into such a mishap.

 

[klassicdoll]

Yes, this is exactly what my couple does. I manage the 95% of the household finances (both mine and his) and he does all the hard job at home. My husband completely trusts me in the field of finances, so he doesn't question my managing of his money.
Unfortunately, I can't say the same thing in the case in a couple one of the spouses is a degenerate gambler and completely refuses to change his/her attitude. The point is, when we marry a completely unknown person, we can bump into such a mishap.

yes. That's why, as much as possible, we should get to know our partner better before jumping into married life. We should be able to assess what kind of person we are going to marry so that we will not regret it.

 

[Starmix]

It's better to do a background check of the husband's intelligence if okay or not and if not don't proceed to marriage. But the husband could have his own potential not in selling but in other things, so I will not abandon my husband.

 

[Augusta]

I believe when saying the wedding vows, for better for worse was included or at least something similar. This is why it is extremely important to know who you are marrying before going into marriage. It's not something you jump in and out when you feel like.

I agree with you, you don't just run away because of some little things. The next person might also have a flaw you don't like and you keep divorcing to where

 

[Suba]

Each person will certainly have a different answer, if their partner is not financially intelligent or cannot make money. Actually, before getting married, you have to see the condition of your potential partner, so you can decide whether to continue the relationship or end the relationship.

 

[King Belieal]

Each person will certainly have a different answer, if their partner is not financially intelligent or cannot make money. Actually, before getting married, you have to see the condition of your potential partner, so you can decide whether to continue the relationship or end the relationship.

I agree with you in totality. Some things have to be fixed in the relationship stage. But if they are not fixed for one reason or the other, should one stick to a partner that would draw him or her back financially? Certainly, No.

 

[Augusta]

I agree with you in totality. Some things have to be fixed in the relationship stage. But if they are not fixed for one reason or the other, should one stick to a partner that would draw him or her back financially? Certainly, No.

You have to consider other areas that the person might be good in too. You know no one is perfect at least there might be other areas the person might be great in and you manage it while teaching the person how to be financially intelligent.

 

[King Belieal]

You have to consider other areas that the person might be good in too. You know no one is perfect at least there might be other areas the person might be great in and you manage it while teaching the person how to be financially intelligent.

There are vital things that one has to be mature in before thinking of a marriage. One is mentality and another is finances. That can't be compromised. Unless that marriage would be in danger.

 

[Augusta]

There are vital things that one has to be mature in before thinking of a marriage. One is mentality and another is finances. That can't be compromised. Unless that marriage would be in danger.

Sure but we can't be great in all areas. So if the person has upper hand in other areas then you compromise and work out your marriage

 

[King Belieal]

Sure but we can't be great in all areas. So if the person has upper hand in other areas then you compromise and work out your marriage

I have a friend who has a wife that doesn't understand how to strategize financially and they have been married for five years now. The guy makes good money but has to be using his money to pay debts incurred by the wife in her own business. And the guy is not growing financially as time goes by. He should still marry the lady?

 

[freelancermaria]

This is why it is essential to take the time to get to know someone before tying the knot. If your partner is not financially intelligent, do not rush into the marriage if this could be a big issue for you. Dismissing this could lead to complications down the road.